


DABDA

by Hannabeth8



Series: Les enfants hippocampes [12]
Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: Angst, Confrontations, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Kübler-Ross model, M/M, Mild Language, Mpreg, Multi, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-09-16
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannabeth8/pseuds/Hannabeth8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire goes through the Kübler-Ross model (or the five stages of grief) while trying to show support of Enjolras's pregnancy with Marius' baby</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will be one of the five stages of the Kübler-Ross model.

Grantaire was lying in his bed, unable to sleep.

 

Earlier today he found out that Enjolras was pregnant, but the baby wasn't his.

 

Even though Grantaire said that he would still be by Enjolras's side, he still couldn't help but feel betrayed.

 

" _This can't be true, this has to be a joke, the baby has to be mine. Enjolras wouldn't betray me like this._ "

 

He then lied down to try to go to sleep.

 

" _I'm sure it'll turn out that the child was mine the whole time, and it was just a honest mistake._ "

 

As he was drifting off to sleep, his inner thoughts showed up.

 

" _You know that you're not the father of the baby, so wouldn't it be better to accept the fact and move on?"_

 

"Stupid inner thoughts, they don't know what they're talking about."

 

After supressing his inner thoughts, Grantaire finally went to sleep.

 

The next day, Grantaire and Combeferre were out; walking through town.

 

"Were you at the meeting last night, Grantaire?"

 

"No I was too hungover and just went back to the apartment, why do you ask?"

 

"Because last night, Marius appeared and kept saying he was going to be a father, and rambling on how the mother was Enjolras."

 

"Okay two things, 1: the proper term is pama, and 2: Marius is lying since the child is obviously mine."

 

"I hate to say this, but I think you might be in denial; since Enjolras has confirmed that Marius was telling the truth."

 

"No it's all an honest mistake, you'll see. When that baby is born, people will see that I'm the actual father."

 

"Grantaire, are you okay?"

 

"I've never felt better."

 

Grantaire then drank the whole bottle of wine he was holding in one swig.

 

"I understand that you feel hurt, but denying what is happening isn't the answer."

 

"I guess you're right, I'm just going to head home now."

 

"Okay well see you later."

Later that night, Grantaire was lying in bed; when he realized the truth.

 

" _Oh god it is true, Enjolras is pregnant with another man's child_."

 

Grantaire then just gave it his all to hold back the tears.


	2. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire is now at the second stage of grief. Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, it'll delve deeper into the night that Marie was conceived, and also shows what happens if seahorse blood is still in a person's system for too long.

Within the next few days, Grantaire was no longer in denial about who the father of Enjolras's child was.

 

Because he was now fill with so much anger just bottling up, but not at Enjolras since he knew it wasn't his fault.

 

Grantaire was instead enraged at Marius for drugging Enjolras, and also taking advantage of someone who was drugged.

 

Then one night, Grantaire then realized what he had to do; he grabbed a small knife and before leaving; kneeled next to Enjolras who was asleep.

 

"don't worry my Apollo, I'll regain your honour."

 

Grantaire then decided to set the knife aside, since his two bare hands would be useful enough; since he was skilled at boxing.

 

He then quietly walked off into Marius's apartment, and managed to get in.

 

He realized that there was no one there, so he hid himself until the right moment.

 

Soon after a while, he could hear Marius's voice.

 

"Hello, is there anyone here?"

 

Grantaire then ran from where he was hiding, grabbed Marius by the throat; and slammed him up against a wall.

 

"I'll fucking kill you, you sick bastard."

 

"What are you doing here, why do you want to kill me?"

 

"You DRUGGED Enjolras, and then YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM WHILE HE WAS DRUGGED!

 

"Well how am I no different from you? You did the same thing all those years ago; that's how you ended up with Patria-Rouge."

 

"WELL AT I DIDN'T DRUG HIM, IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE; AND I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS DRUGGED!"

 

"Please I beg of you, please let me explain; I didn't want to do what I did. But like I mentioned before, I forced to by someone from the government. Even then I was gonna just lock him in a room, and wait until it was cleared from his system."

 

"If that was your plan, why didn't you go through with it?"

 

"Because within 3 days of being drugged, he was screaming, crying, and begging for some one to come in and have sex with him. Then within 5 days, he was slamming himself against the walls and the door."

 

"When did you finally give in?'

 

"It was close to the end of 2 weeks, when I heard him yell _I'll fucking kill myself if someone doesn't fuck me right now._ " I ran in to find Enjolras holding a knife over his stomach, and he also had cuts on his whole body and just in tears; that's when I realized what had to be done."

 

"So you did it to save his life ?"

 

"Yes, and it was both the most greatest and worst moment ever."

 

"What do you mean by that."

 

"Well it was the greatest moment because with Enjolras, he's the man that most women and men want to be with; he's kind, smart, brave, and a great leader. But he was also so handsome as well, I actually kind of love him; and always wanted to be with."

 

"So why was it the worst moment, if it was what you always wanted ?"

 

"Because while it felt so amazing, it felt so wrong at the same time. When it was all over, we didn't face each other and while Enjolras didn't say anything; I actually started crying because I was so repulsed with myself."

 

Grantaire was just sitting there in a stunned silence, since he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

 

"For the next few days I just stayed in my room and broke every mirror in there because I couldn't stand to look at myself. I'm even thinking at leaving for England, and starting a new life."

 

"But you promised that you would be there for the baby, what about that?"

 

"I'm sorry but I can't, I'll be leaving on October; that way I'll figure out what to do."

 

"HOW CAN YOU DO THAT? TO PROMISE SOMETHING TO SOMEONE AND THEN NOT KEEP THAT PROMISE!"

 

"WHY WOULD YOU CARE THAT I'M NOT KEEPING MY PROMISE ? I'LL BE OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU CAN STILL KEEP YOUR PRECIOUS APOLLO OR WHATEVER!

 

"Because if you go back on your word, you would be hurting Enjolras; and if there's ONE THING I DON'T WANT TO SEE IS MY PRECIOUS ENJOLRAS HURT! ESPECIALLY BY SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

 

"I can see that you care for Enjolras, but let me ask you this; what does he even see in you? He could do so much better."

 

Grantaire just stood there and didn't say anything, he then punched Marius in the face and then left.

 

As he walked back to his apartment, he stopped and thought; " _what if Marius was right?_ "

 

Grantaire then left the apartment building, and took a coach to a winery that was on the outskirts of town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Marius said what he said was that since he was mad at the time, he didn't realize what he was saying.


	3. Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire is now at the third stage, bargaining. Marius pushes himself away from Enjolras because of guilt over what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the low point of the story, since with most stories there's often a low point that's full of angst. (especially since the next chapter will be depression.)

The next morning, Enjolras woke up to find that Grantaire wasn't sleeping beside him; he looked all over the apartment and couldn't find him.

 

He then walked over to Patria-Rouge who was at looking out of the window, looking at clouds.

 

"Patria-Rouge, have you seen your father or did he tell you where he was going?"

 

"No, in fact I just woke up; sorry."

 

"That okay, he just left without leaving a note; and I don't know where he is. Maybe he's at one of the inns or pubs."

 

Enjolras then look around every pub, inn, and anywhere that would have alcohol; but with no luck.

 

Meanwhile after a lengthy coach ride, he had finally arrived at the now abandoned winery.

 

But it wasn't just any winery, it was the place where Enjolras and Grantaire confessed their love for each other; and also where Patria-Rouge was concieved, many years ago.

 

After paying the coachman, he walked into the wine cellar (or whatever was left of it.)

 

He remembers the night of a social gathering that they crashed, and after the two getting very drunk; both Grantaire and Enjolras sneaked off into a hidden room in the wine cellar.

 

Grantaire then found the hidden room, that he finally confessed his love to Enjolras; and the two made love for the first time.

 

" _This room is a lot bigger than I remembered."_

 

Grantaire then sat on the floor and thought about what Marius had said, and began to wonder some things.

 

_"What if Marius was right? I mean Enjolras and I were both drunk when we confessed our love for each other, so maybe they were just empty words from poor judgement."_

 

Meanwhile back at Paris, Enjolras began to worry about Grantaire; so he went over to Marius's apartment to see if he was there.

 

Enjolras walked into the apartment to find Marius sitting on his bed holding a bloodied handkerchief over his nose.

 

"Marius are you okay, what happened to you?"

 

Marius then immediately looked away from Enjolras and didn't answer his question.

 

"Please Marius, I need to talk to you."

 

Marius then walked into another room, and locked the door.

 

Enjolras tried to open it and then started banging on the door.

 

"PLEASE I NEED TO TALK YOU, WHY WON'T YOU EVEN LOOK AT ME?!"

 

"Because I feel sick just looking at you, I'm just reminded of that night."

 

"I know that you feel remorse over what you've done, but I hold no grudge against you; you just did what you had to do to save those you care about. You saved my life and helped me when I was in a lot of pain, and you have also gave me a gift that I'm sure will be as beautiful as a diamond."

 

"No it won't be, I can't even stand the thought of seeing that baby. I'll be leaving in October for London to start a new life."

 

"But what about your promise, what about the baby ?"

 

"I don't know, and I don't care."

 

Marius then unlocked the door and quickly left the apartment.

 

"Wait, where are you going?"

 

"Anywhere away from you."

 

After Marius had left, Enjolras sat on the bed and started sobbing.

 

Meanwhile back at the winery, Grantaire was at his wits end.

" _If only I haven't even looked at Enjolras all those years ago, none of this would've happened. If I could find a way that all of this could be prevented, I would take it._ "

 

"I would do anything to prevent this pain from happening."

 

Soon small voices started appearing in Grantaire's head.

 

" _You know that the only way this pain could be prevented is if Enjolras and you never became lovers."_

 

"If that what it takes, I'll be okay with it; he deserves better. I'm nothing, just a mere insect to a powerful god. Maybe it would've been better if we never met at all."

 

Grantaire then fell asleep on the floor, in tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter (and many other stories I have with Grantaire) shows that he actually cares about   
> Enjolras and most of his actions and what he says is because takes Enjolras into consideration and rarely even thinks of what is best for himself.


	4. Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantaire goes through the fourth stage, depression, Marius apologizes to Enjolras, and Enjolras finally finds Grantaire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a suicide attempt in this chapter, just a forewarning.

Over the next few days, Grantaire hasn't ate or slept; he just stayed in the abandoned winery, lost in his thoughts; and feeling as if the world is full of darkness and despair.

 

He felt this way because ever since Marius asked what Enjolras could possibly see in him, Grantaire could only think about one thing over and over again.

 

_What if Marius was right?_

 

Grantaire then started sobbing his eyes out.

 

" _I'm so sorry for leaving you my Apollo, but you deserve so much better."_

 

Meanwhile back in Paris, Enjolras was resting in his bed; and worrying about where Grantaire could be.

 

Soon Patria-Rouge walked up to Enjolras.

 

"Are you okay pama?"

 

"Yes sweetie, I'm just worried about your father; I haven't seen him in days. Right now, I'm just hoping that wherever he is; he's safe and will soon come back home."

 

"Don't worry pama, I'm sure papa will come back; he'd never leave us."

 

Soon there was a knock on the door.

 

"I'll go get it."

 

Soon Patria-Rouge walked to the door, and opened it to see Marius standing there.

"Hello Monsieur Pontmercy, is there anything you need?"

 

"Actually yes, is it okay if I speak to your father?"

 

"He's not here, we don't know where he went; but pama's here if that's okay."

 

"Yes, but is it okay if I could speak to him alone?"

 

"Sure, I'll just wait out here; if that's okay?"

 

"Sure."

 

Soon Marius slowly walked into Enjolras's room.

 

"Hello Enjolras."

 

"What do you want? I thought that the mere sight of me, made you sick."

 

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, I wanted to apologize."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, the only reasons I said those things was because I felt an immense amount of guilt for what I did, and if I could go back and prevent it from happening I would."

 

"Well you can't, look I understand why you feel the way you do; but you must understand, I hold no grudge against you."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, because while I know what you did was wrong; you said you didn't want to do it but you had no choice."

 

Enjolras and Marius then hugged, and then just sat next to each other in silence.

 

"Don't mind me asking this, but what do you see in Grantaire? I mean you can win any guy's heart in this , so why him?"

 

"Well I guess the reason is that even though we don't see eye to eye at times, he still cares about me, he cheers me up when I feel down, he often takes me into consideration before himself, and when I was pregnant with Patria-Rouge; he stayed by my side. I even still remember the  night he said he loved me for the first time,"

 

Soon Enjolras grabbed a maroon cloak that he made a long time ago.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"I think I know where Grantaire is."

 

"Well I'm coming with you."

 

"No, you stay here with Patria; don't let her know where I am."

 

"Okay, stay safe."

 

Soon Enjolras took a coach, and went to the winery.

 

Meanwhile at this point, Grantaire was at the end of his rope and decided to poison himself; so that he couldn't hold Enjolras back.

 

He was sitting in the middle of the winery, with some arsenic he bought before he left.

 

He then placed some of the arsenic in a glass of wine he poured.

 

Grantaire then said a little poem to himself.

 

" _I'm sorry my dear love, but this is my last goodbye._

_By the time you find me, I will already have died._

_But please don't cry my love, because you are now free._

_So please do not mourn, do not weep for me._

_Because even though with me, I have love for you in my heart._

_I only want what's best for you, even if that means being apart."_

He then started to move the glass towards his lips, when he then heard a familiar voice out side.

 

"GRANTAIRE, WHERE ARE YOU?"

 

Enjolras then climbed the steps down to the wine cellar, and when Grantaire saw his; he dropped the wine glass in shock.

 

"Enjolras, what are you doing here?"

 

"I came here to look for you, I looked everywhere for you."

 

"But why ? You deserve someone much better, I'm just nothing compared to you."

 

Enjolras then kissed Grantaire on the lips.

 

"No you're not, you're so much more; you're a intelligent, kind, and wonderful man. I also can't imagine being without you."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yes, because even if we don't see eye to eye at times; I still love you and I always will."

 

"I love you as well my Apollo, and not matter; I will follow you into the dark."

 

They soon returned back to their apartment, and spent the rest of the night in each others arms.

 

Even though Grantaire still feels the darkness looming over head, everything seems a bit brighter with his Apollo by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I made a reference to the song "I will follow you into the dark." I couldn't help it (especially after seeing the video*.)
> 
> *The video I'm referring to is George Blagden (the actor that played Grantaire in the movie) preforming a cover of "I will follow you into the dark." I'll post a link below. 
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w30Irt3m_jU


	5. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grantiare finally goes through the fifth and final stage, acceptance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marie would be around two years old in this chapter.

It has been around 2 years since the baby was born, the baby was a girl that Marius decided to name Marie; much to Enjolras's brief dismay.

 

Even though Grantaire promised that he would be there for Enjolras, and see Marie as his own; he couldn't help but feel distant towards her.

 

"It wasn't that he hated Marie or anything, but every time he saw her; he was reminded by the emotional turmoil that happened in the past months."

 

So he would try to avoid Marie, anyway he can; and try to make up a reason why.

 

Then one calm summer evening, Marie was with Patria-Rouge; who was going to buy a bottle of ink.

 

"On their way back, a group of gentlemen tripped Marie; which caused her to fall over."

 

"I'm SO sorry, I didn't see you there."

 

"You did that on purpose you liar."

 

As Patria-Rouge was going to throw the first punch, they slapped her across the face.

 

Marie then got back up and noticed that she had skinned her left knee her elbows, and her forehead; she soon started wimpering and then started crying.

 

Meanwhile Grantaire was walking back from spending most of the day with Joly and Feuilly, when he noticed what was going on.

 

"LEAVE MY DAUGHTERS ALONE!"

 

Grantaire then punched one of the gentlemen in the solar plexus, causing him to fall to the ground in pain.

 

He then grabbed a stick that was nearby, and hit the other 2 gentlemen in the side of the head.

 

"Patria, are you okay?"

 

"Yes, I'm okay, can't say the same about Marie."

 

Grantaire then noticed that Marie was still sitting on the ground, crying.

 

"Don't worry Marie, you're safe now."

 

Grantaire then picked up Marie, and they walked back to the apartment.

 

Meanwhile Enjolras was reading in his bed, when he heard the door open.

 

He then walked to the living room to find Marie and Grantaire, sitting in the living room.

 

Enjolras then noticed that there were some cuts on Marie's knee, elbow, and forehead.

 

"Oh my god, what happened?"

 

"Patria-Rouge said that some people tripped Marie, but luckily the cuts aren't too bad. But I'm going to get some cloth and vinegar to prevent an infection."

 

Grantaire then got a small bottle of vinegar, and then ripped both sleeves from his shirt; to make some bandages.

 

He then soaked parts of the cloth in vinegar, and wrapped one around Marie's knee, two around her elbows, and one around her forehead.

 

"I love you papa."

 

Marie then hugged Grantaire, at first Grantaire was hesitant but then he hugged Marie back.

 

Grantiare then realized that he had no reason to avoid Marie and to be distant towards her, because at the end of the day; she's just a young girl who needs her family.

 

In that very moment, Grantaire has finally accepted Marie as his own.

 

"Don't worry Marie, no matter what; I'll always be there for you and for Patira-Rouge."

 

"What about me Grantaire?"

 

"Don't worry my precious Apollo, I'll always be there for you as well."

 

The next day, Grantaire decided to visit Marius; to bury the hatchets. 

 

He walked over to his apartment and knocked on the door, and it was Courfeyrac who answered it.

 

"Hello Courf, I was wondering is Marius here?" 

 

"Yes, did you want to speak to him?"

 

"Yes." 

 

Grantaire then walked into the apartment, and found Marius reading the usual book about Napoleon. 

 

"Hello Marius, is it okay if I speak to you?" 

 

"Sure, what do you want?"

 

"I just stopped by to apologize over the way I was a couple of years back, and I was hoping to let bygones be bygones." 

 

"Thanks, I was hoping for the same as well; the last thing we need is bad blood between us." 

 

The two then shook hands, and spent the afternoon; chatting away. 


End file.
